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Published On: Dec 22, 2003 02:57 PM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Dec 22, 2003 02:57 PM
Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Sometimes employees get into feuds at
work. How do you help?
A couple of our dogs got into a fight the other
day. We were able to get them apart, but we were both very shaken up by the
event. Adrenaline was coursing through our veins, and for the next hour or so
we were nervous, unable to think clearly, and much less productive than usual.
I often respond to experiences in my life by learning all I can about them and
from them, so I spent some time the next day researching what we should have
done instead of what we did do.
What I learned was interesting. There's actually a way to intervene in a dog fight that reduces the risk of injury...if you're interested, I found this article helpful.
It make me think of a question I was asked by a seminar participant: what do you do if people you're supervising develop a problem with each other? How do you intervene, if at all?
I think a supervisor should intervene if the parties involved can't seem to get past it. Any personal feud will have emotional repercussions in a work setting, because conflict nearly always raises the level of anxiety in a group. That isn't to say that conflict is always bad, but when it's interpersonal conflict over personality issues, there's not much chance that either the conflict itself or the anxiety it produces will have any constructive result.
The first thing you do is manage your own emotion. Stay calm. Say "goozfraba." Do whatever self-soothing you like, but don't become emotionally caught up in their conflict. Anything you do to intervene in the situation will be enhanced by your ability to remain non-anxious, non-defensive and relatively playful. Just as screaming "No, no, no!" has absolutely no effect on a dogfight, supervisory hysteria has no effect on an employee fight.
If we're talking about a fist-fight, call Security. If you don't have Security, let the combatants know you're calling the police. Don't bluff. I don't ever advise supervisors to referee boxing matches, although many of them are capable. The immediate reason is that you don't want them to turn on you as though you are another aggressor; the larger reason is that you don't want the combatants to draw you into the triangle. Like pooches, employees who are angry and filled with adrenaline aren't likely to give you the respect you want and deserve; if they are fighting, you already know they aren't thinking clearly.
Remembering relational dynamics, it probably won't do much good to order them to get along. You'd probably have more success if you ordered them not to have any contact with each other, since then they'd be inclined to change the environment themselves. Don't take sides.
It may be advisable to refer the employees to counseling. If you have a counselor on staff, that might be the very thing; if not, most managers have qualified people in the rolodex (it must get kind of cramped in there) who will work with folks having problems. This is the kind of thing that is often dumped in the lap of a Human Resources person, which is fine if they have conflict management training...otherwise, it's better to refer the case to someone who does.
As a last resort, in cases where the anger is chronic and the combatants will clearly harm the effectiveness of the workplace, it may become necessary to dismiss one or both of them. This should be handled according to your company's discipline policy.
I hope you never need to think about this situation, but if you ever do, the same tools apply here as with most other anxiety-producing situations: stay calm (or get calm), think rationally, be as playful as the situation will allow, and stay focused on your vision for your area. If you do those things, it will lower the anxiety in the room, and perhaps avoid the need for drastic measures.
What I learned was interesting. There's actually a way to intervene in a dog fight that reduces the risk of injury...if you're interested, I found this article helpful.
It make me think of a question I was asked by a seminar participant: what do you do if people you're supervising develop a problem with each other? How do you intervene, if at all?
I think a supervisor should intervene if the parties involved can't seem to get past it. Any personal feud will have emotional repercussions in a work setting, because conflict nearly always raises the level of anxiety in a group. That isn't to say that conflict is always bad, but when it's interpersonal conflict over personality issues, there's not much chance that either the conflict itself or the anxiety it produces will have any constructive result.
The first thing you do is manage your own emotion. Stay calm. Say "goozfraba." Do whatever self-soothing you like, but don't become emotionally caught up in their conflict. Anything you do to intervene in the situation will be enhanced by your ability to remain non-anxious, non-defensive and relatively playful. Just as screaming "No, no, no!" has absolutely no effect on a dogfight, supervisory hysteria has no effect on an employee fight.
If we're talking about a fist-fight, call Security. If you don't have Security, let the combatants know you're calling the police. Don't bluff. I don't ever advise supervisors to referee boxing matches, although many of them are capable. The immediate reason is that you don't want them to turn on you as though you are another aggressor; the larger reason is that you don't want the combatants to draw you into the triangle. Like pooches, employees who are angry and filled with adrenaline aren't likely to give you the respect you want and deserve; if they are fighting, you already know they aren't thinking clearly.
Remembering relational dynamics, it probably won't do much good to order them to get along. You'd probably have more success if you ordered them not to have any contact with each other, since then they'd be inclined to change the environment themselves. Don't take sides.
It may be advisable to refer the employees to counseling. If you have a counselor on staff, that might be the very thing; if not, most managers have qualified people in the rolodex (it must get kind of cramped in there) who will work with folks having problems. This is the kind of thing that is often dumped in the lap of a Human Resources person, which is fine if they have conflict management training...otherwise, it's better to refer the case to someone who does.
As a last resort, in cases where the anger is chronic and the combatants will clearly harm the effectiveness of the workplace, it may become necessary to dismiss one or both of them. This should be handled according to your company's discipline policy.
I hope you never need to think about this situation, but if you ever do, the same tools apply here as with most other anxiety-producing situations: stay calm (or get calm), think rationally, be as playful as the situation will allow, and stay focused on your vision for your area. If you do those things, it will lower the anxiety in the room, and perhaps avoid the need for drastic measures.
Posted: Mon - December 22, 2003 at 04:28 AM