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Published On: Feb 12, 2004 10:11 AM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Feb 12, 2004 10:11 AM
Isn't It Obvious?
Sometimes we're a little too quick to
pass out the insults.
A few months ago, I needed a small capacitor to
repair a television. I checked several places that sold electronic components,
but they didn't have what I needed. I decided that perhaps I could get the part
from an electronics repair shop, so I stopped in at a shop I'd passed several
times. When I asked about the part, the person at the counter said, "This isn't
a parts store." I left, of course,
red-faced.
Why did I feel as though I had just been insulted?
My contention is that the clerk at the counter responded in such a way as to communicate the idea that I should have known better than to ask a repair shop to help me find parts. The superficial message, that they couldn't provide parts, was only part of the message; somewhere in the undercurrent was the additional message: you should know better.
The result of this is that now I have two bits of information: a repair shop isn't likely to sell me a part, and there's one repair shop I won't even go to for repairs.
Some people are clearly distressed when people ask what appear to be, at first glance, questions whose answers should be obvious. It's a sign of frustration when a person has a snappy comeback, and yes, sometimes the answer really is obvious. Nevertheless, comebacks that could be interpreted as put-downs should be eliminated from the arsenal of managers, salespeople, and supervisors. It may give a moment's satisfaction to point out another person's apparent stupidity, but after that moment is over, you may have lost a customer or demoralized an employee.
Sometimes I can't resist the urge myself, but I nearly always regret it. I think we do it because our expectations that everyone else will be able to think as clearly as we do are often unfulfilled. But, just as we can learn not to take criticism personally, so we also can learn not to make personal criticisms when they're inappropriate, which is nearly always.
Why did I feel as though I had just been insulted?
My contention is that the clerk at the counter responded in such a way as to communicate the idea that I should have known better than to ask a repair shop to help me find parts. The superficial message, that they couldn't provide parts, was only part of the message; somewhere in the undercurrent was the additional message: you should know better.
The result of this is that now I have two bits of information: a repair shop isn't likely to sell me a part, and there's one repair shop I won't even go to for repairs.
Some people are clearly distressed when people ask what appear to be, at first glance, questions whose answers should be obvious. It's a sign of frustration when a person has a snappy comeback, and yes, sometimes the answer really is obvious. Nevertheless, comebacks that could be interpreted as put-downs should be eliminated from the arsenal of managers, salespeople, and supervisors. It may give a moment's satisfaction to point out another person's apparent stupidity, but after that moment is over, you may have lost a customer or demoralized an employee.
Sometimes I can't resist the urge myself, but I nearly always regret it. I think we do it because our expectations that everyone else will be able to think as clearly as we do are often unfulfilled. But, just as we can learn not to take criticism personally, so we also can learn not to make personal criticisms when they're inappropriate, which is nearly always.
Posted: Thu - February 12, 2004 at 10:05 AM